Me. At least after what I've been through.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
