we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
