this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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