i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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