Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I need to align my fucking chakras
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
