Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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