I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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