I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
