did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
