Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
We got so high we made milksteak
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
