we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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