its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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