I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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