is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
where does the pee come out of this thing
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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