half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
