Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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