apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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