He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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