we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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