Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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