actually, I'm a sock model
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
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