i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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