Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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