i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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