so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
