drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
