At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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