mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
