exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Never underestimate the power of titties
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
