If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
