the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
