thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
