Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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