I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
