we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
