I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize