he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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