erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
