lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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