Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
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