Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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