Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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