Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Randomize
