If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
