I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
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