69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Randomize
