should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
