sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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