Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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