He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
