Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
