One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
