I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
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