I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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