We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
