Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I made him laugh his dick is mine
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Randomize
