your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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