we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
