I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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