Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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