i will never coherently bang her
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
